Budapest Blues

There is a funny blog that Michael and I read called Pestiside, which details humorous happenings in Budapest. Last week, there was a headline that said "seven reasons to kill yourself," and then posted the weather report for the upcoming week. Although, it is a drastic headline, it's pretty much right. The sun has barely peaked out at all, and we've been subjected to a steady, cold drizzle for the past five days. It did snow on Sunday, which was lovely. As my friend Liz put it, we are just experiencing the "city blues." The weather is bringing me down, and the people, mainly on public transportation, are bothering her. I don't think there is a higher concentration of depressing looking people than on Eastern Europe metros. I watch their faces as I ride up and down escalators, and they are pessimistically glum. Liz just is more irritated that no one moves for each other to get in and out of the trains. Plus, it is very sad, because the amount of homeless people in the city has become very apparent over the last month. The city doesn't stop them from sleeping in the metro stations, so there are make-shift beds lining the walls and beggars everywhere. This makes the place reek of urine. Unlike Liz though, I have been lucky enough not to witness people peeing on a daily basis - I'll count myself lucky! Many of the homeless people have puppies and dogs. I can't decide which is sadder - the fact that the dogs are also homeless or that homeless men adopt dogs so they get more money, because people feel more sympathy for animals than they do for other humans.

On a lighter note - kind of - I received a job offer to be a business reporter for the Loveland newspaper where I used to intern. Instead of making me really excited, I just feel stressed. It makes leaving Budapest seem real, means I have to cancel my trip to Dallas in December which I already paid for since they need me to start 2 days after I get home, and of course it means much less freedom in my schedule. Yes, I am scared of a big-girl job. As Mike pointed out last night, I could just save money and slack off at the tour center, since tour guides get paid the same amount as starting reporters with college educations. Boo!! I have until Monday to make my final decision. Mostly, I don't want to leave Mike, but I don't think I want to be here with him as long as he wants to stay here - which seems to increase by the day.

Tomorrow, I will go ice skating at this beautiful outdoor rink and actually spend some time with Mike. He's been working insane hours for a proposal that got scrapped last minute. Now, he wants a week of his life back!

I just finished watching "Angels in America" which is an amazing play and TV series on HBO. There is quote in it that I thought was so beautiful, and it's been running through my mind:

"Nothing's lost forever. In this world, there's a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we've left behind and dreaming ahead."